im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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