his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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