Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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