i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
