people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
