Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
