if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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