so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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