A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
