Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
