I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
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Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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