im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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