Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
