p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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