so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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