I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
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I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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