I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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