i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
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I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
