dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
