Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
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I got her a Nickelback box set.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
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Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize