WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
