I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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