Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry FTWandmichigan hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

Fav 15 2792 995
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

Fav 280 55477 5261
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(920): View more from Wisconsin

just left the emergency room. condom extraction.

Fav 30 1348 11420
share tweet
(281): View more from Texas

Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.

Fav 11 8118 1669
share tweet
(715): View more from Wisconsin

not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"

Fav 21 1497 5485
share tweet
(941): View more from Florida

Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.

Fav 15 2102 6432
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.

Fav 6 1166 1210
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked

Fav 1 97 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+69): View more from

She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.

Fav 0 53 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT