I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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