he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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