TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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