i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
