Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
