Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
