I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
