You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
