I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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