It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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