Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Girls should come with a carfax report
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
