I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
