It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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