I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize