I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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