Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
