You can't special order awesome
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am spending my child support on dildos
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize