Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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