i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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