He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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