i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
