I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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