Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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