Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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