Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
