smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize