They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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