By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I love having hate sex.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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