Duck Duck Cougar?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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