why didn't you poke me back
you guys were way drunker than both of me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
