I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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