Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
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there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
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And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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