In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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