D3 body, D1 cock
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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