Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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