Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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