and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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