I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
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