i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
