Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
