i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have tasted many bathrooms
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
