You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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